This blog is written after doing a deep dive in trying to understand sensitivity and what it means to be deeply empathic. I have started to read THIS book which is really hitting home. Chapter 4 talks about a repressed ego and it just hit me… THIS is the area of self I need to work on and it is this which is keeping me small. It limits me in every corner of my life as it is super uncomfortable for me to take up space.
I noticed this first when others with a strong sense of self were around me… I couldn’t believe how willing they were to blow their own trumpet. I had never really seen this before. I am always the first to put myself down, play down any accomplishments and basically hide in the background.
But I started to resent these ‘full of self’ personalities, and it was this reaction which made me go inside myself and ask why I had that response… they say we react to the things which we repress in ourselves and then as if by magic this audio book started to play and it was like my guides were talking to me through this. I have tried to summarise the sentiment below but if you, like me, resonate I would grab this book and have a read.
Ego: An Ally, Not a Nemesis
In the spiritual world, ego often gets a bad reputation. We hear it described as the nemesis of the true self, the barrier to enlightenment, or the villain of spiritual growth. The advice is clear: leave your ego at the door. But what if the problem isn’t ego itself? What if the real challenge lies in how we balance it with conscious awareness?
At its core, ego is simply your sense of self — your idea of who you are and how you perceive your place in the world. It’s not inherently good or bad. Like everything else in life, ego exists on a spectrum. On one end, it can anchor you to your sense of self-worth, enabling you to stand up for yourself, assert boundaries, and take care of your needs. On the other, it can become inflated, leading to egocentric behaviors that prioritize your needs at the expense of others.
The middle ground is where harmony lies. A healthy ego isn’t about narcissism or self-absorption; it’s about self-esteem, confidence, and an ability to honor your individuality. In fact, having a strong ego is essential for navigating life’s challenges, especially when you feel vulnerable or manipulated.
Becoming egocentric is what happens when ego operates unchecked by conscious awareness. Imagine two volume knobs: one for ego and one for conscious awareness. If the ego knob is turned all the way up and conscious awareness is down, you end up self-serving, with little empathy for others.
On the flip side, if the ego knob is turned too far down, you lose your sense of self. For empaths and sensitive souls, this can lead to absorbing others’ emotions, neglecting your own needs, and struggling to set boundaries. Repressing your ego can trap you in cycles of people-pleasing, self-doubt, and even burnout.
Spiritual teachings that encourage the suppression of ego often overlook its role in maintaining self-worth and authenticity. A repressed ego can manifest as:
A healthy, balanced ego works in harmony with conscious awareness. It allows you to recognize your individuality, stand confidently in your truth, and differentiate between your emotions and those of others. When your ego and awareness are aligned, you can embrace both your needs and the needs of those around you.
Here’s how to cultivate this balance:
A strong, balanced ego isn’t about domination or narcissism. It’s about showing up authentically and confidently, inspiring others through your grounded presence. A confident, compassionate person has far more impact than someone who diminishes themselves to avoid being “too much.”
What would your life look like if you embraced your ego and followed your heart without worrying about others’ opinions? By balancing ego with conscious awareness, you can honor your needs, connect deeply with others, and live as your truest self.
It’s time to stop repressing your ego and start working with it, building it up and living the life you were here to live <3
It is funny as on my quest to understand this repressed Ego I found a Youtube video on ‘what to do if someone has a large ego’ and their advice? They simply said if you experience someone with a big ego then it is actually you with the ego and you must give into that others ego and put yours away. I was shocked. They gave examples so if a colleague had a big ego then you must acknowledge yours is bigger and do what the other was asking… and I felt in a heartbeat how dangerous that advice is to sensitives like us. Sensitives who have spent their life giving in, bowing down and pausing our own needs to serve those with bigger egos. That just because you are experiencing someone’s strong ego does not mean that this is because yours is bigger. What a complex world we live in… and this is the reminder:
No single piece of advice is meant for everyone. For someone the above video may be what they needed but for others it could be deeply dangerous keeping those of us who have repressed ourselves to keep smaller still. So here is my reminder to take what resonates and leave that which does not…
Much love
Ria
